I DON'T GO TO MOVIES ANYMORE, SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO GET THEIR PHONE SURGICALLY REMOVED FROM THEIR ASS, SO YOU SEE, I CAN'T GO.

Good. It's about time. Read this. You, Mr. I'llkeepmybabyquietbyjinglingmykeys.
You, Ms. Snortlikeapigbeingcornholedevenduringtheseriousparts.
You, the Letsbringpaperbaglunchesforallsixofusandtradesandwicheswitheachother family.
You, Mrs. Whatdidhesay?Whydidhesaythat?Whatdidtheydothatfor?
Little Billy Seatkicker and his older sister Cindy Gumcracker. And most especially, the members of the sacred society of I'mtooimportanttoturnoffmyphone.
You know who you are.