TWO TALES #2 RIDICULOUS

I needed a cheeseburger. Unfortunately, so did all the yuppie housewives and their kids that day. What did I expect really, from a place called Jonny Rockets in a place like University Village. Freely, I admit it's guilty pleasure for me. Sephora, Crate and Barrel, jewelry stores to look at, and faux 50's diner cheese burgers. Also, a lot of mothers pushing strollers with multiple seats , I do understand the desparate need to get out of the house, so I'm fairly tolerant, mostly.
I'm starving, there's one seat left. One seat next to a woman with three kids. Bouncing, screeching, vibrating kids.
Stomach vs. good sense, dignity,and what's left of my last nerve. Stomach wins.
I order my food, kid number one pouts and refuses to eat.
I eat all the onion rings first, kid number two stands up in the booth and runs back and forth on the seats, pounding on the windows at people passing by outside.
I eat half a mediocre BBQ burger, kid number three is laying down on the window ledge above the seat, smearing ketchup and burger bits all over his face and yelling NO!! NO!! for reasons known only to him.
I sip my vanilla Coke and glare my best evil at Mom.
Mom is glaring back like she's used to it and pulls a designer wallet out of a designer purse. They're leaving!!! Yes!!
I think hard at her : CONDOMS AND RITALIN, CONDOMS AND RITALIN,
trying to make the world a better place with just the power of my mind.
Sometimes, lunch, like birth control, is all about timing.