OH-DE-TOILET

The plumbers are installing a new toilet tomorrow. Honestly, I am more excited about this than I was about the new TV. Copper pipes are pretty.

PLUMBING

The plumbing is getting replaced as I type this. It was supposed to be last week, but the schedule got screwed up. We are not having any problems with the job they're doing, it's going just fine. I however do not fare well when people are doing anything that involves tearing up, sanding, drilling, sawing etc.. in my house. I get nervous. Every muscle is clenched and my teeth are being ground down to little nubs. Oddly enough, I am getting alot of studying done. Nervous, toothless, yet educated.

BRING ME MY BITCHES!!!

All names in this story have been changed as I haven't actually asked if I can write about this yet. This little tale is why I don't hang around groups of women much, I love my female friends, but they are chosen FOR ME BY ME after years of much horrifying trial and error.
Read on....
So I have this friend, we'll call her Jane.
Jane was enthusiastic about joining an online alias (a chat room /online forum) for women at her workplace. As she works primarily with men in her office area, she wanted to find some women she worked with that share her views.
Before you could say "good luck with that" it happened. Someone put up posters near the elevators advertising " Pimp My Cubicle!" presumedly to clean up cubicles and offices, as a take on MTV's Pimp My Ride where people get their crappy cars fixed up.
Many irate messages immediately reared their ugly heads online.
Uptight females from all over the company whining about how people nowdays forget the real meaning of "pimp" and how offensive it is to women.
Jane, quite simply, rocks. Letting them have it with both barrels, stating that with all the ACTUAL problems in the world and the workplace, this is a waste of everyones time, and ending the post with something along the lines of PIMPPIMPPIMPEDYPIMPPIMP.
ha!!!! I am glad to be her friend.
There are 2 morals to this story:
1-Don't forget that special guy in your life on "Remember Your Pimp Day" (they make a card for everything you know).
2-Being politically correct is no substitute for a good orgasm.

LALALA LINOLEUM

The countertop guys are measuring our kitchen tomorrow! Excitement!! Were getting a new sink too. More excitement!!
My feet are sore and bit bruised from last weeks clumsiness. Ecxitement?

HULK FALL DOWN GO BOOM. AGAIN.

Fell down again. In the dirt again. For no good reason again. Both feet are sore and one ankle is a bit puffy. The only thing I can make any sense of is I'm severely PMS-ing at the moment, same as last time I hit the dirt. Can hormones make you horribly, if only temporarily clumsy?
On a different and happy note, we got a new TV today. It's pretty!

I'M NOT DEAD.

Busy busy busy. That's me for a change. I spent a great 2 weeks with my Boo on vacation. We didn't go any place, but got alot of stuff done around the house. We bought a new sink and counter tops, had our trees trimmed and some removed, and scheduled plumbing replacement. Also, I went to see my pal Shellswick in BC for a couple of days. We stayed at a NICE hotel I affectionately called Posh Mc Swanky's home for wayward girls. I highly reccomend a bit of luxury now and then. Miss you Shelly!!
Here's hoping for the end of the tunnel with the "homeland security" paperwork and the Canadian red tape.
BAAH! I want my friend to live here!! Why is that too bloody much to ask?