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DON'T BE SORRY, JUST BE WALLY.

12.29.2005

MY RESOLUTION

Listening to the radio last night I hit a wall of zero tolerance. "We're talking with Doctor Blahblahblah from the institute of Whatthefuckever about his miracle breakthrough in the war on fat."
WAR ON FAT.
Someone's declared war? Not on me personally, just on the cells in my body,...OOOHH, well,ok then.
People who lack self esteem will pay alot to get it. These companies know that. Make you feel like shit about yourself so they can 'help' you. For a price.
Television is sending in waves of troops armed with before and after photos ( "I went from a SIZE 10 to a size 4!") and glass beakers filled with "five pounds of UGLY fat!"
What they're not telling you is that a size 10 is an average healthy size, AND those 'before' photos aren't what we're led to believe. Some of them are ACTUALLY pictures of women when they're pregnant, or just after having a baby. HMMMMM...
I have taken a good look at myself just like Doctor Whothehellcares asked over the radio waves last night. I considered each part individually, and came to this conclusion. The roundness of my belly gets in the way sometimes, and can easily be managed with a daily walk. My tits and I came to terms with each other long ago. I would like to have a stronger jawline, ... any jawline, it's a family trait that's been there since puberty. That will be my concession to plastic surgery someday, but that's it.
I actually LIKE my butt and even though my calves are big they are very muscular and strong and have a nice shape.
Over all I've found that I bitch far too much about a body I really quite like. It's not the body I had at 25, but why should it be?
I bitch because it seems like the thing to do, all my friends do it. Lame excuse.
Friendly fire.
I'd like my friends to join me in telling Doctor Whatshisass to go fuck himself cause we're going AWOL.
If not, I'm going anyway.
I'm finally ready.

12.27.2005

THREE CHEERS FOR CHO!

Margaret Cho is my hero. She should run for President. I just finished reading her latest book, I Have Chosen To Stay And Fight. She is brutally honest and outspoken and utterly unapolegetic about her views. I admire that and find it lacking in myself at inconvenient times. This mealy mouthed suburban hausfrau salutes you Margaret! I have truly grown soft and lazy in the last few years. Many chapters will be revisited when I'm feeling particularly slackalicious.

12.23.2005

JOLLY HOLIDAYS!!

GROOVY SOLSTICE, FESTIVE YULE, JAMMIN' EPIPHANY,CRAZY KWAANZA, HAPPY HANNUKA, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
for those among us who think it's ok to politically correct the shit out of the holidays, have a nice weekend.

12.20.2005

NO EXCUSES

Ok...I'm a lazy tard. Here are a few of the Disneyland pictures. They are on Chris' Blog. It really was a great trip! There is a link to ALL of them at the end of his post.
ENJOY!

12.19.2005

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T LOVE HIM MORE...

Below is an article from KING5 News.
The slimy power hungry little Golem just got slimier. He's got garlic in his soul.
You hold him down, I'll get the 39-and-a-half-foot pole.

Dec 19, 12:16 PM EST
Bush says NSA surveillance necessary, legal
By TERENCE HUNT AP White House Correspondent

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush, brushing aside bipartisan criticism in Congress, said Monday he approved spying on suspected terrorists without court orders because it was "a necessary part of my job to protect" Americans from attack.
The president said he would continue the program "for so long as the nation faces the continuing threat of an enemy that wants to kill American citizens," and added it included safeguards to protect civil liberties.
Bush bristled at a year-end news conference when asked whether there are any limits on presidential power in wartime.
"I just described limits on this particular program, and that's what's important for the American people to understand," Bush said.

Raising his voice, Bush challenged Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid and Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton - without naming them - to allow a final vote on legislation renewing the anti-terror Patriot Act. "I want senators from New York or Los Angeles or Las Vegas to go home and explain why these cities are safer" without the extension, he said.
Reid represents Nevada; Clinton is a New York senator, and both helped block passage of the legislation in the Senate last week.
"In a war on terror we cannot afford to be without this law for a single moment," Bush said.
The legislation has cleared the House but Senate Democrats have blocked final passage and its prospects are uncertain in the final days of the congressional session.
On another issue, Bush acknowledged that a pre-war failure of American intelligence - claiming that Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction - has complicated the United States' ability to confront other potential emerging threats such as Iran.
"Where it is going to be most difficult to make the case is in the public arena," Bush said. "People will say, if we're trying to make the case on Iran, `Well, if the intelligence failed in Iraq, therefore, how can we trust the intelligence on Iran?'"
The news conference ran just shy of an hour. It was the latest in a series of events - appearances outside Washington, meetings with members of Congress and an Oval Office address on Sunday night - in which the president has sought to quell criticism of the war in Iraq and reverse his months-long slide in the polls.
In opening news conference remarks, Bush said the warrantless spying, conducted by the National Security Agency, was an essential element in the war on terror.
"It was a shameful act for someone to disclose this important program in a time of war. The fact that we're discussing this program is helping the enemy," he said.
The existence of the program was disclosed last week, triggering an outpouring of criticism in Congress, but an unflinching defense from Bush and senior officials of his administration.
The president spoke not long after Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said Congress had given Bush authority to spy on suspected terrorists in this country in legislation passed after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.
Bush and other officials have said the program involved monitoring phone calls and e-mails of individuals in this country believed to be plotting with terrorists overseas.
Normally, no wiretapping is permitted in the United States without a court warrant. But Bush said he approved the action without such orders "because it enables us to move faster and quicker. We've got to be fast on our feet.
"It is legal to do so. I swore to uphold the laws. Legal authority is derived from the Constitution," he added.
Domestic issues were scarcely mentioned during the news conference.
But at one point, Bush responded to criticism of his record on racial issues, exacerbated by the images of thousands of blacks stranded in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
"One of the most hurtful things I can hear is, you know, Bush doesn't care about African-Americans," he said. "First of all, it's not true. And secondly, I am - I believe that - obviously, I've got to do a better job of communicating, I guess, to certain folks." He urged Congress to reauthorize the Voting Rights Act and promised to sign it.
Despite the weighty issues Bush addressed, the president bantered with reporters at times during the news conference.
"So many questions, so little time," said one, and the president had a ready quip. "Ask a short question," he said.
But the session was dominated by national security issues - principally the newly disclosed spying program by the NSA.
Bush emphasized that only international calls were monitored without court order - those placed from within the United States and going overseas, or those placed from other countries to individuals living in this country.
He stressed that calls placed and received within the United States would be monitored as has long been the case, after an order is granted by a secret court under the provisions of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.
One of the principal provisions of the Patriot Act permitted the government to gain warrants in cases involving investigations into suspected terrorists in the United States - an expansion of powers previously limited to intelligence cases.

12.14.2005

BUS, SHORT, THE

I have the misfortune to be on a bus line that goes past a high school. I should know better than to ride between 2 and 4pm. I HATE TEENAGERS. I hated being a teenager, I wouldn't let anybody call me a teenager I hated the word so much.
Anyway, holy crap they're obnoxious! Leaving one side of the bus to get away from the screeching teenage girls on their cel phones only brought me closer to the group of teenage boys calling them selves and each other "niggah" instead of using "I" or "you". When a friend of theirs got on at a later stop a chorus of "hey niggah!" greeted him, to which he yelled " hey niggahs!" back.
OK, I am a whitey-mcwhite-white-mayo-and-wonderbread-norweigian-lutefisk eating-sit in a sauna and slap your self with branches in the snow afterwards crazy old woman. That being said...
I really believe some words will NEVER gain acceptance, regardless of how much misguided, walking hormone bomb 'they say it in movies so it must be ok' teenagers repeat them.
I really believe these kids had little to no concept of the weight and nastiness words can have. I also believe none of them say that in front of their parents. Maybe if they did a lesson or two from not so distant history could be passed down.
In the mean time, all of us plus sized girls should get together.
"Hiya fat bitch!" " "Hey you bacon eatin' hooor!"
Think it'll offend anyone?

12.08.2005

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO POKE THEIR OWN EYES OUT WITH A FORK

This is an actual article found in Yahoo today.
I would have been nice to hear more about why this guy lost his job, y'know, the point of the story and all.
It's comforting to know that though people are starving, dying, raped, kidnapped, murdered, or swindeld out of their basic rights by a dangerous idiot with too much power, we as a nation can count on REAL journalism to keep us informed. God bless America.
As soon as Babs picks an eye booger or something, we'll be the first to know.

Streisand Cancels LA Times Subscription
Thu Dec 8, 3:43 PM ET
LOS ANGELES -
Barbra Streisand has canceled her subscription to the Los Angeles Times over the firing of the paper's liberal columnist.
The newspaper dropped Robert Scheer and several other columnists last month; Scheer speculated he was let go because the Times had tired of his politics.
Perhaps the most liberal voice on the paper's opinion pages, Scheer had been a Times columnist for 12 years. He was a reporter for the newspaper for 17 years before that.
"Robert Scheer's column, with its often singular voice of dissent and groundbreaking expositional content, has been among the most notable features that have sustained my interest in subscribing to the LA Times for many years now," Streisand wrote in a letter she sent to the newspaper and posted on her Web site.
Streisand, a well-known supporter of Democratic candidates and liberal causes, wrote that by firing Scheer the Times had reduced the diversity of voices on its opinion pages. A shortened version of her letter was printed in the Times Nov. 23. The full letter is posted on her Web site.
In a note to its readers, the Times reported Nov. 15 that hundreds of readers had written or called to complain about Scheer's departure.
David Garcia, a Times spokesman, had no comment Thursday on Streisand's letter.

12.07.2005

CASTRATING CHRISTMAS

Good grief.
Click here.

12.05.2005

GOODBYE ANDY

Last time we all got together was a couple of years ago, we went downtown to see Kill Bill 2 and ate mexican food. You were at our wedding six years ago. We didn't see alot of each other, but you made a lasting impression on me as a funny, wry, creative, sweet man. There are pictures on Daves blog from just about month ago of you holding Max, you're both making goofy faces. You were just my age and last I heard, you were planning a wedding of your own.
You died last night.
You died.
If you say it a bunch of times, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. It makes no sense.
Truly, this makes no sense.
Though we didn't get much of a chance to talk about philosophy, if there is a next life, I wish for you to live to be a healthy 110 years old. At that point you'll decide to check out because you'd been everywhere, seen it all, and done absolutely everything you could ever want to do in this world.
Rest in peace Andy, you will be missed.

If you would like to make a donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, click here.
If you would like to donate in memory of Andy Blinn, I think he would have liked that.