RETAILS OF THE CITY

Ahhhh the public. Thank you for my vericose veins, bad nail beds, twitchy eye, and molars with a chewing surface ground down so smooth you could ice skate on them. Maybe for my split ends too, I'm not sure yet. Those of you that work in the service industry know this special feeling for your fellow man. You just want to grab them, and squeeze them, and pinch their little cheeks 'till their head pops off then yell "NEXT!!"
But I digress....
Not only did I work in the jewelry industry, I've also been a phone rep for 2 different banks.
People will say shit to you over the phone they would never say in person. They know you're not allowed to hang up on them. What they don't know is there's usually a mute button, and while they're spewing verbal wank at some poorly paid service rep, said rep may be out getting coffee or farting into the speaker.
Thought I'd share couple of choice comments heard by me and others over the years:
"If I write a check and post date it for 2 weeks from now you guys will hang onto it right? "
"This is America, you've got no right to return my checks just because there's no money in my account!"
" But it's only 200.00 over the limit, can't you just extend my credit temporarily?"
" I saw on 20/20 last night that the internet isn't safe so I'm taking all my money out of the bank unless you can explain to me how computers work right now over the phone.., can you hold, that's my other line."
"Why is my account number at the bottom of my checks? That's dangerous! I want checks with no account number on them!"

Split ends, definately your fault.