PUT DOWN THE STOVE AND I'LL GIVE YOU A NICE BANANA

Chris and I purchased all our appliances at a certain large home improvement store, the one with a 'W' in the name. The first time we bought there because we didn't know anything about this whole new house washer,dryer, fridge thing. The second time (last week) because they were the only store that had what I wanted. Both times we had stuff delivered. All I can say is, I want to see the pool of undiluted weirdness they get their delivery guys from. Somebody needs to go there with a camera and film them in their natural environment. In talking with the sales people I got the destinct impression they draw a bold line between themselves and the delivery guys. Last week the salesman kept calling them "delivery monkeys". "Oh NO! We won't let the delivery monkeys touch the gas feed or do any wiring. We only allow them to put stuff in the truck, & take it out again." Do you have hardwood floors? I'll make sure the delivery monkeys put down a protective pad before they bring anything in."
OK......needless to say, we didn't have the right wiring, the delivery monkey laughed at me and told me I should send the stove back and get a different one. I didn't want a different one. I also did not want to be laughed at by a delivery monkey....again.
Three years ago the same store delivered a washer and dryer, this delivery monkey was a surfer dude on steroids. He also tried to talk us into trading things in for something else stating that the sales person who helped us had "some serious anger management issues." OK....then he asked us if we would be "christening" the new house anytime soon while making a suggestive eye brow/smirk face. OK.........later that day we went to back to the store to pick up a towel rack or something, and who should be walking down the bathroom fixture isle? Surfer Monkey!!
"DUUUDE!" Are you replacing that cause you guys broke it "christening" your new bathroom?"
OK..........