WHY WOMEN LIVE LONGER, AND OTHER THINGS MY HEMORRHOID TAUGHT ME

Today I had a rubber band tied around my hemerrhoid. Oddly, this is not the point.
Flash back two days to my brother Matt's birthday at my parents house. He and Dad are going on about how horrible it is to have a yearly physical and this trauma is why Matt has only had one physical in his adult life. 'Having somebody poke around up there is no fun, and how I 'just don't understand'...comedy gold, Dad.
Flash forward to this morning in the colorectal clinic waiting room. Joining me are a young woman with a child, they're waiting for Daddy.
From the hallway the doctor can be heard " just sit for a moment and have a drink of water, take deep breaths, you'll be fine."
The woman across from me looks concerned 'till she is told her husband had a bit of a problem and almost fainted. I look at her, she looks at me, the big headed child on her lap looks at me, we all roll our eyes.
The rubber banding took about 30 seconds, and though I'm quite sore, I've certainly been through worse.
When I asked about the fainting guy, I brought up my brother and how he won't get a physical.
The doctor stopped humming 'Strangers in the Night' ( you have to be able to laugh at it, you know) "women live longer, makes you think doesn't it?"
Moral of the story: Quit being a whiny-ass baby, bend over and cough.